In Front Of The Lights
by EmWithAChance
Summary: Life in the spotlight can be hard. Rumors, gossip, haters, relationships, jealousy, looks, and more. What is Sonny Munroe hiding underneath her big smiles? They told her that she smiled too much, talked too much. So she took up a silent hobby - bleeding.
1. Chapter One: Scarred

_**In Front Of The Lights  
**_**Chapter One  
**_**Scarred**_

I pressed the small, silver, metal blade onto my wrist, ignoring the distracting sound that was the shower. I had just turned it on so it would seem to Tawni that I was taking a shower. Red liquid seeped from the new cut. I felt the pain of it for a while, it felt good. I then held a towel to it, waiting for the blood to stop. It seemed like I'd been in the bathroom forever. When I was sure the cut had stopped bleeding, I stood up off the tiles, washed out the towel to get rid of the blood stains, and I wet my hands and ran them through my hair, to make my excuse of 'taking a shower' look legit. I put my hand into the shower and turned the water off, and put on my best fake smile before walking out of the bathroom.

"Wow, you take long showers." Tawni snapped from her seat in front of her dressing table. Good, my excuse worked. "So, are you ready?" She asked in her wind-chime like voice. "Ready for what?" I replied. "The movie premiere! Don't tell me you've forgotten!" Crap. I had forgotten. "I haven't forgotten. I just -" She didn't care, she just cut me off. "Forgot. Now, hurry up and get ready. We can't wait all night for you. There's a dress laid out on the couch. Go get changed." I saw the lovely black dress on the couch and took it into my dressing room and got changed into it, and went into hair and makeup. I took my handbag and going out to the limo that was waiting for us.

The limo ride was boring. Tawni was just going on and on about how many photos would get taken of her, and spending every other second staring at her compact mirror. I rested my head on the inner car window, thinking about before, me sitting on the bathroom floor, taking a blade to my wrist. There were visible cuts on my wrist, but luckily I had bracelets in my bag which I could put on when I got to the premiere. Everyone probably thought there was no reason for me to cut. Well, they didn't know, but if they did, they would still think there were no reasons. But there were plenty. I missed Wisconsin, but I knew I couldn't just up and leave 'So Random' because I liked it too much, torn between home and Hollywood. The fact that Tawni hated my guts since I'd got here, and I had no idea why, I didn't do anything to her, maybe I was competition to her, maybe she secretly liked me, but I just couldn't stand the hatred from her. In junior high, people bullied the crap out of me. It hurt me, and though I'd gotten over it, everything they had said, and done, was imprinted on the back of my mind. Then, last of all, Chad. I had no idea if I liked him or hated him, or if he liked me or hated me. It was complicated.

Okay, only four reasons, that wasn't plenty. But those four reasons had hurt me so bad I needed to find some way to deal with the overwhelming pain that followed with the hurt. But like I would even tell anyone those reasons. Cutting took me to a place where everything was alright, where I didn't have a problem and the sun always shone through any darkness. Tawni's voice broke out of my beautiful illusions. "Hello? We're here! Wake up!" She slapped my shoulder with her handbag. I fluttered my eyes while my mouth hung open. "Okay, ouch!" I stepped out of the limo and onto the red carpet, where fans waited. As soon as we all got out of the limo, they screamed, and cheered for us. "Woah." I'd been to plenty of movie premieres before, but it just shocked me to see THAT many fans screaming for us. We made our way down the red carpet until we got to where the photographers would continuely flash their cameras, sending off blinding light.

"Sonny, over here!" One of the photographers yelled. I extended my hand to the edge of my dress and my arm faced the cameras, and I had a big fake smile on my face. Wow, I was good at faking smiles. I continued to smile for them, so did Nico, Grady, Tawni, and Zora. "Sonny! Smile please, this way!" I turned to the photographer who said that and smiled big. I looked across the carpet, look who showed up. Chad and the cast of 'Mackenzie Falls'. Sigh, this was going to be a long night. When it was all over and it was time for us to leave, I ended up falling asleep in the limo. My eyes needed rest after being exposed to all of those flashing lights. I was kept awake for a while by the constant talk from Tawni. Nico shook me awake when we got back to the 'So Random' set.

My mum's car was waiting for me, so I boarded that and got driven home. I went straight to my room, not even bothering to get changed into my pyjamas, and fell asleep on my bed. I was way too tired to care what I wore to bed. I dreamt that I was in a heaven, with clouds, and rainbows, and sunshine, and that Chad was there with me, and just when he was about to kiss me, I woke up. Well, of course, when Chad appeared it went from 'dream' to 'nightmare'. I stepped out of bed in my dress that I'd worn, and flipped open my laptop. I logged on and waited for it to start up. I went to check my emails when, on my homepage, under the news headlines, was a picture of me, with the headline "_Sonny Munroe cutting herself?_" and a zoomed in picture of my wrist from last night's premiere. No, no, no. Please, God, no. I dashed over to the bag I had taken last night, and opened it. The bracelets were still in there. Crap, I'd forgotten to put them on. Then overnight, the pictures taken had leaked onto the Internet, and gossipers had spotted the cuts immediately. I turned my laptop off and got changed and headed to the 'So Random' set, fighting tears the whole way. My life was ruined, over!

Everyone was already at rehearsal. I slumped onto the floor in mine and Tawni's dressing room. I let a small tear fall from my eyes. "Is it true?" Chad appeared at the door, holding a issue of 'Tween Weekly'. He walked towards me. "Sonny The Self Harmer?" He repeated the title off the front of the magazine. Wow, it had even surfaced in magazines. "What do you think, Chad?" I mumbled. "I think someone's been cutting themselves." Chad sat next to me. "What do you reckon those marks would be, then? Bracelet indentations?" I hissed. "I can't go out there, not to rehearsal, not on the show tonight. They've probably already seen it. I don't think I can face it." I sobbed. "Look, Sonny," Chad began, putting his arm around me. "You'll have to face it sometime, you can't hide forever. Be strong." He then left the room.

I stared at the numerous red lines on my wrist, letting more tears fall. Should I be strong? Was Chad right? I wasn't usually a strong person, but this time I probably had to be.

* * *

_My first 'Sonny With A Chance' fic! My friend Chelsea (pen name = SparkleInTheSun) inspired me to do one. Well, not really, but I just wanted to do one because she has done a few. This is kinda based upon Demi Lovato's life. But in no way, shape, or form, am I saying Demi is a cutter. It's just a fanfiction. And also, do you think this should be a Chad/Sonny or Nico/Sonny fic? I am a fan of Nico/Sonny, because it's kinda different, and also since episode one when Nico kissed Sonny's hand. Most of you will probably say Chad/Sonny, but just tell me what you think in a review!_

_~ Emily_


	2. Chapter Two: Too Weak

_**In Front Of The Lights  
**_**Chapter Two  
**_**Too Weak**_

I pushed the long, dark brown hair that fell down out of my face. I dared myself to say it - Chad was...right. I couldn't hide in here forever. I had to face them, be strong. I stood up from where I was sitting and went to the set for rehearsal. "Look who's here, hello, Sonny." Marshall said. "Uh, sorry I'm late, I slept in." I lied. "Okay, just don't be a repeat offender." He warned. Tawni eyed me from across the room. She'd probably found out already. She probably didn't care I was cutting, just that SHE wasn't on the cover of 'Tween Weekly'.

We rehearsed a new 'Check It Out Girls' sketch before taking a break. I didn't put much perkiness or happiness into the character in the sketch, my mind was preoccupied with the magazine cover, and the internet articles, and trying to be strong. Tawni pulled me into a small corner near the snack table. "Are you insane?!" She tried to keep her voice low. "Yes I am, did it take you that long?" I replied with a smile. "Okay, first of all, you're not funny, I have no idea why you even joined the show if you call that comedy, and second, that's not what we're talking about," She pulled the new issue of 'Tween Weekly' off the table. "THIS is what we're talking about! Are you trying to ruin my reputation? You're doing a good job!" Tawni was mad. "What, because you're not on the cover? I'm so sorry!" I faked sympathy. "No," She paused for a moment.

"Wait, yes. And in addition why you're on the cover. Cutting?! Really, Sonny?" I had no comeback, perfect. "What, because you're on the same show as me, it's so bad?" I asked. "Yes! It is bad! Because if they think you're self-harming, they won't want to watch the show. And you know who is on that show? Me! I'll have no fans, because of you!"

Wow, and just when I thought Tawni couldn't get any more self centered - bam. "Whatever, go get a role in a movie or another show! You'll get more fans then, but I've seen your acting and I don't think you'd get any!" Nico walked over to us. "Woah, woah, woah, Sonny, Tawni, what's going on here?! I could here you guys yelling from the prop house!" He said. A smirk spread across Tawni's face. "Ask Sonny what's going on, if you haven't heard already." She turned and walked away. "Tawni told me to ask so - what's going on?" Nico asked. I threw the magazine into his hands. "That will explain most of it." I mumbled sadly before heading to the dressing room.

I walked into the bathroom like I usually did, but I didn't turn the shower on. Everybody knew now, there was no point. The familiar blade was positioned in my hands as I sat on the floor. I dragged it down my wrist, and the red liquid seeped from the line. I held the small towel to it, then the door suddenly flew open. Shit, I didn't lock it. "Sonny?" Nico was there at the door. Blade next to me, towel, blood stains showing through the towel, wow, it sort of looked like I'd been cutting myself. "What are you doing?" He sounded concerned. "What does it look like I'm doing? Besides, you probably read the article. You don't care that I'm doing this, no one does." I explained, tears welling in my eyes.

"I care. You're my friend, Sonny. I don't want to lose you if this gets worse." Nico picked up the blade next to me and returned it to the drawer. "I don't want to force you to stop, that would be against your will and screw everything up, and I won't send you to a shrink either. I'll just keep a very watchful eye on you." He said. I actually laughed out of my sadness and tears. I left the towel on the floor and left the bathroom and sat on the couch with Nico."I don't know how I'm going to face everyone else. Like Grady, Zora, Marshall, my mum, the paparazzi. I'm too weak, I can't do it." I sobbed. "Too weak? What?" Nico replied. "Well, I talked to Chad earlier this morning, and -" Nico cut me off. "You talked to CHAD?!" Nico gasped. I cracked a fake smile. "Very funny. Anyway, he told me the best way that I can face them and deal with all of this is to be strong. But I can't be strong, I'm too weak to face everyone. You've been a great help, but I need some time for myself now. Bye." I stood up off the couch and left.

The paparazzi went mad the second I walked out of the 'So Random' set. I was nearly blinded by the flashing lights. They were waving the magazine and printed articles in front of my face. I managed to get to my car before I was trampled. I drove back home and curled up in my bedroom. I was huddled up in a corner, crying. Scissors were on my desk. I stared at them for a long moment, as if I was waiting for them to suddenly jump into my hands. I soon picked them up and made a fresh cut on my wrist. I felt like screaming. My life was in ruins, wait, no. _I_ was in ruins.

And I needed someone who could make my life better in some way, if that was even possible.

* * *

_A new chapter! Woo! I added a bit of Sonny/Nico, because I'm still waiting for those reviews saying which couple should be in this story - Sonny/Nico or Sonny/Chad. I know the obvious answer, Sonny/Chad, but think about it, Sonny/Nico is different, and different is good. Sonny/Chad seems kind of...overused. (That's my new word - overused, haha.) So review people!_

~ Emily


	3. Chapter Three: Uncontrollable

_**In Front Of The Lights  
**_**Chapter Three  
**_**Uncontrollable**_

A knock on my door had a grip on me as it pulled me back into reality. "Sonny, are you in there? I need to talk to you." My mum's voice from outside the door echoed through my room. I quickly pressed the nearest towel to my wrist, waiting for the bleeding to stop, or at least ease up, and then I hid it under my pillow, and messed my hair up a bit, before climbing into my bed, resting my head on my pillow with my eyes fake-closed. I heard the door fling open slowly. "Sonny?" My mum said. The volume in her voice decreased. The sound of footsteps filled my ears. I then felt a hand on my wrist, and my sleeve twisted a little bit, and heard a small gasp, more footsteps, and then the door slammed. I flashed open my eyes. My mum had seen the cut, the magazine cover, the internet article.

I rose from my bed as I tried to sneak out from my bedroom without my mum seeing me. Of course, I failed. "Sonny, what is this?!" Mum scolded as she held up the magazine cover. "Nothing, I got those marks from...bracelets I was wearing that day." I said in a low monotone voice, it sounded almost lifeless. "They are _not _bracelet marks! I used to work as a psychologist, and those are definitely cuts! Why are you doing it?!" She raised her voice. "I'm sorry, Mum! I can't control it, this is uncontrollable, and it's out of my hands! I can't help when I do it!" I explained.

Mum stepped towards me, stroked my hair and put her arm around me. "It's okay," She whispered. "We'll get you some help." I then took in what she said. I freed myself from her grasp, and pushed her away from me. "Wait, what?! No, no way, I'm not going to a fucking shrink, Mum! I'd rather die! You are NOT making me go!" I yelled. "We need to get you some help! I'm worried about you and I'm not letting this get worse!" She replied. "NO! I am NOT going!" I was now at the door with my car keys in my hand. "Look, just do a favour and move back to fucking Wisconsin, I don't need you here in my life." I muttered, and I knew that she heard me.

During the drive to the 'So Random' set, my eyes just released constant and constant fountains of tears, they just wouldn't let up. The paparazzi didn't let up either; they were just always trying to find out everything about me, Sonny Munroe, and my secret cutting. I wanted to just, like, shout at them: "Haven't you ever heard of _giving someone a break_? You should start!"

But then of course, it would leak onto the internet and magazines, about Sonny Munroe flipping out and having a tantrum at the paparazzi. I just stormed into the 'So Random' set, in tears, not caring if anyone saw me. My foot stomping echoed through the halls leading to me and Tawni's dressing room. As I was crying my eyes out, just wanting to get to the dressing room, Nico was in the hallway. "Sonny, what's wrong?" He asked with caring concern. I sobbed a little harder, trying to catch my breath to tell him the entire story. "My mum found out, she saw the magazine cover, and..." I took another breath. "She wanted me to see a psychologist, and I got so mad at her, I told her to go back to Wisconsin." I let the rest of the tears bucket down.

"It's alright, Sonny. Don't worry." Nico pulled me into a hug. I'd actually forgotten how much I'd really liked Nico, with all this drama going on. "Thank you so much." I managed to mumble from being squished into his chest. He then released me from the hug. "No problem. Hey, maybe after you stop crying, you could come and get a frozen yogurt in the cafeteria with me?" Nico asked with a smile. "Where from, a cup, or the tip of the machine?" I smirked, feeling my tears fade away, and wiping my eyes. Nico laughed as he linked his arm with mine. "To the cafeteria!" He said loudly. We walked to the cafeteria, arm in arm.

We sat and talked whilst sitting at a table for what seemed and what could have been hours, but it was only 30 minutes, until we were interrupted by the loud ringing of my cell phone. "Hello?" I answered. I listened to the voice on the other end. "Uh-huh, okay." I replied. "Sorry, I need to take this." I whispered to Nico as I went into the corner of the cafeteria, continuing to listen to the voice through the line. "I don't think I can," I said into the phone, returning to the table where Nico and I were sitting. "I have to? Well that's just fantastic. Goodbye." I could tell I had a shocked, absolutely horrified look on my face.

"Whoa, who was that?" He said. I didn't say a word. "Sonny! Who was it?" Nico clicked his fingers in front of my face, as if he was attempting to snap me out of a trance. "That was '_Tween Weekly TV_', and they want me to do an interview with them." I gulped, feeling tears well in my eyes.

I had a very bad feeling about this.

* * *

_Updating! Haha, sorry it took so long, and sorry it's short, it was only 951 words, so sorry for that, but I hope you like it. So I guess this is going to be a Sonny/Nico story, I might make a love triangle out of Nico/Sonny/Chad and Sonny will have to choose between them, probably. I hope Sonny/Chad fans will still read it. Goodbye for now._

_~ Emily_


	4. Chapter Four: The Interview

_**In Front Of The Lights  
**_**Chapter Four  
**_**The Interview**_

A week had passed since I got told to do an interview with 'Tween Weekly TV', and of course I got called every day by one of the people who worked on it to remind me that my interview was on Saturday. I'd cut every few days, just let it bleed. I loved seeing the scarlet red blood swipe over my pale skin. I needed the relief. Like always, Saturday came far too quickly and it was time for me to do my interview. I'd tried to cover my wrist up. I'd used loads of makeup on it. And then I reached the cafeteria.

Nico was already there. I greeted him with a kiss on the cheek. "You can do this, Sonny. Just go over there, sit down, do the interview. If they ask about the cuts, make something up." Nico encouraged. "Okay, fine. Thanks for the support." I hugged him. Nico walked to a corner in the cafeteria, slowly watching me. I pulled down my sleeve and twisted it around for a while before walking to the table in the cafeteria where my interview would be taking place. Santiago Geraldo, the host of 'Tween Weekly TV' was waiting at the table with the cameraman.

"Hey, Santiago, how's it going?" I sat down, fake smiling. "And here we are, with young '_So Random_' starlet and accused self harmer, Sonny Munroe!" He said into the camera. I was dazed at the 'accused self harmer' mention. "So, Sonny, how's the show going?" He asked. "Uh, it's going good. Really good, actually. I love it." Simple answers, I was going well. Simple answers were all that I needed to get through this interview. "How have you been lately?" He said. "I've been very good, thanks. Everything is perfect in my life." I lied. The interview continued on, with a lot of different questions. "Sonny, a while ago you were photographed at a film premiere with rigid scars on your wrist," He said. "Fans came to the conclusion that you were cutting yourself. Is this true?"

Oh no, we were heading into dangerous territory. I shot Nico a 'help me' sort of look. "Make something up." He mouthed. I quickly nodded. "Uh, that. I had a bit of an accident on the set a while ago, a prop fell, I tripped, and I got these massive scars on my wrist. I can assure you that I don't, or would ever think of, self harming." Nico gave me a thumbs up sign. That was actually good. "So you're sure about that? You would never self harm?" Santiago asked. "I am completely sure." At that moment, Chad walked into the cafeteria.

"Santiago, my man, how's it going?" He said. "Oh my gosh, are you in the middle of an interview? I am so sorry." Chad used his classic line, but I think he meant it this time, and it was coincidental and not intended. "Yeah, we're just talking to Sonny about her supposed self harming." Santiago implied. Gee, thanks Santiago.

Chad sat next to me. "Look, Santiago, I've known Sonny for a while and I can assure you that she does not harm herself." Was Chad trying to defend me? I kept quiet, and let him go on. "How can you prove that, Chad?" Santiago questioned.

"This is how I can prove it." Chad reached for my arm, pulled it up on to the table, pulled down my sleeve and flashed what was revealed straight to the camera. "Now, Santiago, do these look like cuts to you?" Chad looked proud. "Yes, they do." I looked at my wrist, mortified by the smeared makeup covering deep red lines. I hated Chad so much right now.

I left the interview in tears. Chad chased after me. "Sonny!" He called. "Go away! I hate you!" I sniffed. He pulled me into a corner. "Sonny, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to, I swear." He apologized.

"Sorry is just a fucking word. How could you?!" I half-screamed, my face like a waterfall. "Look, what do I have to do to let you accept my apology?" He was concerned. "Nothing, because no matter what you do, what you say, I'm not going to forgive you." Chad neared his face towards mine, and pressed his lips to my lips. Oh shit. I pushed him straight away.

"Sonny?" I saw Nico standing there, heartbroken. This was very bad.

* * *

_Sorry I made everyone wait so long! I'm really sorry. I had writers block for a while and things had came up in my personal life too. I hope you like this chapter and please review! Also you can now follow me on twitter, my username is EmWithAChance :)_

~ Emily


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